For Danny - Meet Jess

[sluttylyingliar]

Jess Davis Givens did not come into this world calmly or quietly. Well, that's to say his mother did not birth him calmly or quietly. From the get go, they were kind of fucked. Their new wild west house is miles from the clinic, along a hot, dusty path strewn with fucking rattlesnakes and all sorts of shit and the one time, the ONE TIME Raylan leaves her alone, boom. Labor.

Thank God for Danny who had quickly found her on her hands the knees not far up the road, contractions already coming hard and strong. And, you know, fucking old west. No real drugs, no sterile clinic, nothing. It was bad. It was really, really painful and there'd been something with her blood pressure and honestly, Rachel doesn't remember. She really doesn't. It's a haze of almost passing out on the way up there, a lot of panic until Raylan showed up, pain and more pain. And then, just like that, a baby's getting shoved into her arms and she's a mother. She barely had the strength to hold the kid but there he was. A crying, tiny little thing. Her son. Jesus.

Jess Givens is pretty predictable, already. A little solemn, unless he's hungry or pissed and then he's wild and loud and not a little terrifying. His eyes are already almost brown and there's a shock of dark red hair that Rachel seriously hopes doesn't get any more red.

The first time for everything was terrifying. Breastfeeding is a goddamn nightmare because of the implants. The doctors don't know if it'll work and it makes her a little sad. Diapers are horrible and frankly she still feels like she's gonna drop him half the time. He's dozing against her chest as she drifts a little, staring up at the wooden beams in the ceiling. Holy Shit. 

Comments

[haolehothead]

"I don't know," Danny says and he sounds raw for his confession. "Honestly, I think it might be worse if I couldn't have Grace and I couldn't help with Jess, either. It's not your fault that there isn't a woman out there dumb enough to decide she wants to help me have a kid."

[sluttylyingliar]

"It might still happen," she says, unable to quite look him in the eye. She doesn't know who could do that. Have a kid and what? Share it? With another couple? Automatic joint custody?

"You know you're a part of this family, Danny. You're every bit a brother to me and I want you to be a part of this kid's life. An every day kind of part. But you tell me if it's too much, okay?"

[haolehothead]

"I promise, I will," Danny swears, hand in the air like he's the boy scout in the family and not Steve (and crap, but did he just refer to Steve as family? That's definitely a sign that he's dived into this thing as deep as he can get). He slowly transfers Jess back to Rachel's arms. "Here, don't let me steal away your precious peaceful newborn time. Soon, he'll be screaming his head off and you'll want to remember this moment."

[sluttylyingliar]

"You're not stealing anything," she protests softly, cradling Jess to her chest and rolling her eyes as he starts to root around for a boob. Again.

"You wanna lay down with us for a while? I could use the company."

[haolehothead]

"Yeah, why not," Danny agrees, loosening up the leather vest he's been wearing as he gives her a light nudge at the hip. "Hey, scootch over. If I'm staying, I plan on getting plenty comfortable."

[sluttylyingliar]

Rachel grumbles, just because, but happily scoots over, fully planning on using Danny as a human body pillow.

"I'm sleepy," she mumbles against his shirt. "You think if the kid gets hungry you could just him on my boob? I give you permission."

Jess squeaks out a protest at being moved but settles happily back down, tiny finger curling and uncurling.

[haolehothead]

Danny reaches over to quiet Jess by rubbing two fingers over his small back, soothing him with the constant motion as he settles some pillows to make sure they're well-kept in. "How about you sleep and I keep Jessie entertained, huh?"

[sluttylyingliar]

"Don't call him Jessie," she mutters with no heat as she settles in and closes her eyes. "I'm glad you're here, Danny. You realize now you can really never leave, right? Never."

[haolehothead]

"Why shouldn't I? He's adorable enough for the nickname," Danny whispers back, teasing her every step of the way. "And I realize I can never, ever leave, I know," he says, kissing her temple. "I love you, Rach. That's not going away, either."

[sluttylyingliar]

"Call him Jessie in front of Raylan," she snorts, smiling sleepily as she sort of wedges Jess between them before she passes out. "Love you too, babe."

It doesn't take for her to drift off, snuggled into Danny's warm side with Jess breathing softly against her chest.