For Raylan

[sluttylyingliar]

So babies, it turns out, are boring.

Not to say that Rachel hasn't spent most of her time staring at the kid, with an equal mix of love and bewilderment but still. They sleep and then they want some boob and then they poop and that's mostly it.

Jess Davis Givens looks exactly what she'd imagine their kid would look like. Eyes already dark, hair an unmistakable dark red, and a mix of demanding and quiet. Breast feeding has been a nightmare but she's determined to make it work. There isn't really an abundance of formula in the Wild West and she wants him to have the best. It's the first time she's really, truly regretted her plastic surgeries.

She's sleeping almost as much as the kid, and she'll be glad when they can get home, or some approximation of home, anyway. She just wants to lie in a bed with the two of them and try and force herself to believe it's all hers.

Comments

[angriestman]

He's had a shot of bourbon and a shower by the time he slips back into the room to find her awake and the baby starting to grizzle. He sets a full shot-glass down on the locker beside the bed, bends over the crib and lifts Jess, cradling him against his chest as he lowers himself down into the chair at the side of the bed.

"Hey," he says, softly.

[sluttylyingliar]

Her fiancee. It's still just such a trip.

She grins up as she picks up Jess, who let's out a few happy chirps. "How's being a dad working for you, today?"

[angriestman]

"Hasn't really sunk in, if I'm honest," he says, glancing up at her face but he can't look away from Jess for long. "Might take a while."

[sluttylyingliar]

"We'll have time," she says, willing it to be true. "You know I think he looks like you. Other than the hair which is clearly my fault. It's the eyes."

[angriestman]

"He doesn't really look like anyone yet," says Raylan, tilting his head and studying Jess for a moment. "Except maybe Arlo. Don't all babies kind of come out looking like little angry old men?"

[sluttylyingliar]

"He looks a little like one of those glow worm toys," she decides, inspecting him from another angle.

Jess wriggles a little and flails a hand out, trying to grip Raylan's finger.

"So, you done your whiskey baptism, yet?"

[angriestman]

Raylan gives Jess his finger and, for a moment, the strength of the kid's grip takes his breath away. You hold on, kid, he thinks. Everything's going to be fine.

He nods.

"Bought you a shot. Figured I'd take him while you get some sleep before he needs to be fed again."

[sluttylyingliar]

"I've made an excellent decision in agreeing to marry you," she says with a delighted grin as she knocks back the shot.

It's been like, months and months and it was worth it but God did she miss it. "I love you," she breathes, laying back onto the bed. "You're so goddamn good at this."

[angriestman]

"I'm not good at anything yet," he says, stroking his hand against Jess' back. "But I'm going to be. I'm going to figure it out. We're just going to hang out for a little while you're sleeping."

[sluttylyingliar]

"You're good at taking care of me," she insists, gazing fondly up at them. Her guys.

"You're already looking out for both of us and I love you so goddamn much. You need to know that."

[angriestman]

"I do my best," he says. He reaches out, with Jess cradled in the crook of his arm and takes her hand in his, threading their fingers.

"I know that," he says, gently. "I love you too."

[sluttylyingliar]

She pulls his hand up long enough to kiss his rough knuckles, smiling as she settles sleepily against the bed. "I just want to put on a decent dress, load up this kid of yours and go sign that marriage book. Maybe have a few friends as witnesses. That's everything I want with you."

[angriestman]

"Soon as you're on your feet," he promises, squeezing her hand. "Go on. Get some sleep. I'll be right here." He shifts Jess' weight in his arms.

"We both will."