For Helen

[sluttylyingliar]

Of the many, many things Rachel appreciates about the island shit going back to normal, is the reappearance of the club. Like, the actual club. It's her second home in this place and it's probably fucked up but frankly, so is Rachel. And as annoying as it is that she can't dance anymore, she still feels a part of everything behind the bar. Okay, she's not actually the best bartender as she's now spending like a third of the time sitting on a stool, but still. If you can't see her big belly, then all you really notice is her awesome pregnant boobs. And that's her gift to the patrons.

Anyway, she's stayed later than usual, sending Raylan home already with the promise not to be long. As much as she loves Danny, and generally can admit his advice is solid, this is something that she thinks Helen might understand a bit better. Or at least understand her position.

"Good night," she sighs, stretching her back out as the last of the customers filters out the door.

"Long night."

Comments

[devilwoman]

"You said it," Saffron agreed with a puffed exhalation as she came over from the other side of the room, adjusting her corset a bit from where it'd gotten a bit skewed during her last lap dance. She'd never been one to enforce any kind of 'look but don't touch' rule, especially not as concerned herself, but there were certain patrons who knew they were allowed to get more handsy than most. It was hardly a bad thing, far as she was concerned, that Saffron loved her job.

"How's that stool for you, sugar?" she said, going around behind the bar to start the nightly clean-up so Rachel didn't have to. "Not too hard on your back?"

[sluttylyingliar]

"Fine for now," she says, gathering the glasses within range to at least make some attempt to help. "Apparently I'm going to get even bigger in the next few months so that should be fucking fantastic. You might have to put a goddamn rocking chair back here."

[devilwoman]

"Well, I think we can manage a regular chair, at least," Saffron replied with an amused half-smile. "You'll be a little hidden behind the bar, but it'll give you a proper place to rest a spell, at least." She figured they both knew Rachel was going to have to stop altogether at some point, but as long as she wanted to keep going, Saffron wasn't going to stop her from that. She could understand the need for some normality.

[sluttylyingliar]

"So basically, the worst damn bartender you've ever had?" she snorts, stacking the clean glasses back under the bar. She fiddles with her dishrag for a moment before finally looking back up. "So...I uh. I was wanting to talk to you about something. Woman to woman."

[devilwoman]

"Hardly," Saffron said, glancing over at Rachel from where she was getting everything straightened and gathering the last of the glasses. "I'm glad to have you."

At Rachel's next words, Saffron frowned just slightly, stopping what she was doing to give the other woman her full attention. "What's on your mind?"

[sluttylyingliar]

"I was wondering what you thought about marriage," she blurts out, twisting the rag absently. "Do you think it's just a stupid piece of paper or have you thought about it?"

[devilwoman]

Saffron's eyebrows rose in mild surprise, not expecting that question. "What I think about marriage in general?" she asked, trying to clarify. "Well, I'm not against it, per se. I think it works wonderfully for some people."

[sluttylyingliar]

"What about other people?" she asks, biting her lip. "Have you ever thought about getting married? Do you think it changes people?"

[devilwoman]

At that, Saffron abandoned the last of the cleanup altogether. It could wait. She went and grabbed a stool of her own so she could sit by Rachel. "For me personally? I've already been married, and I have no desire to get married again," Saffron replied. She'd been married far, far too many times for the wrong reasons to ever marry for the right reasons now.

"I think - it can change people," she mused. "But really, what's the difference between being in a committed and monogamous relationship and being married, especially here? If it's important to a couple that they're husband and wife, I think that's just fine, if that's what makes them happy."

[sluttylyingliar]

"I don't know," she answers with a shrug, staring down at the bar. "That's what I thought and then this fucking marriage license shows up from home. I went and got into this sham marriage to a really bad guy and all I can think is how wrong that is and I feel like a crazy person because all the sudden I'm thinking about that...with Raylan. I think about it all the time."

[devilwoman]

"So this marriage license." Saffron pursed her lips a moment, thinking. "This is something that hasn't happened to you yet, right? Something from your future?"

[sluttylyingliar]

"It's more like an alternate timeline or something now," she says, rubbing her fingers along her temple. "It happened six months after I got here. So it's technically in my past. And this guy he's really bad. Which means I'm still into drugs or something bad back home."

[devilwoman]

"Rachel, honey," Saffron pointed out, "it doesn't matter what you're doing back home. It's like you just said, that's an alternate timeline now. You've gone in a different direction, you're on this path now." She gestured with her palms facing inward and her fingers pointing downward, the universal motion for 'right here'. "You love Raylan, he loves you, and he's a good man, a real good man, and you know that. He'd be a good husband, too, if that's what you want for the two of you."

[sluttylyingliar]

"But he's got to want it, too," Rachel says, letting out a shaky breath. "And I really don't think he does. And how do you talk to someone about something like this without it ruining everything if he doesn't want the same thing?"

[devilwoman]

Saffron gives Rachel's hand a brief squeeze. "Yeah, he does," she replied. "That's a hard one. I reckon you wouldn't want to feel like you'd forced him into something. But not talking to him about it isn't the way to go, either. I think you've gotta figure out just how bad you want this, Rach. If Raylan really doesn't want marriage, if he just wants to be with you without that, could you be all right with it?"

[sluttylyingliar]

"I want Raylan however I can have him," she says with a firm nod. "All of this is more than I ever fathomed was even possible for someone like me. I almost feel selfish that I'm still pushing for more."

[devilwoman]

"Have you talked to him about this at all?" Saffron asked. "Maybe you should, just get a sense of how he feels about all this rather than just guessing. And you can make it clear to him there's no pressure on your part."