sluttylyingliar | Jess Givens - dated to April 20th

It's really, really not supposed to happen this way. Rachel has tried (sort of) to cut down the whining about this Wild Westcrap because it's about the happiest she's seen Raylan in pretty much ever but still. Birth? Without electricity? In the DESERT or whatever this is supposed to be? There are like, rattlesnakes around. And ghosts...maybe. And that clniic is not sterile and there aren't any modern drugs and these dresses are ridiculous and heavy and she can't breathe she's so pregnant.

Honestly, she should have known this would happen in the four seconds a day Raylan and Danny leave her by herself. Her back had been hurting all night but she had written it off to the lumpy mattress and somehow also forgot to mention the shooting pains that in restrospect were coming every ten minutes or so. She'd sent Raylan on with an assurance she was fine and all she needed was a soak in the bath (iron tub thing) and that she didn't need Danny to supervise. It's clear to her, now, that she should never be allowed to make the decisions every again because the second she stepped out of that tub, her water broke and it was very clear what was happening. And that is what happening very quickly.

She'd managed to scramble into one of those weird underdresses, not giving two shits how much the world was seeing and carefully made her way outside, her guts writhing and back not too painful to straigten. She squints against the bright, hot sun and pads barefoot out into the path.

"Help," she croaks out, arm firm around her belly like maybe she can catch the kid if he falls out right here in the dirt. "Shit, someone help!"

Another wave of pain sends her stumbling down to her knees, cursing loudly and creatively as she tries and fails not to panic. Two seconds in and she's already screwed this up.

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He'd been stopping by every once in a while, not enough to be hovering - Merlin knew she had Raylan and Danny enough for that - but enough to at least be satisfied he was keeping an eye on her. Between himself and Helen, they kept each other apprised of Rachel's current state.

So he was on his way there when he heard her call out, and immediately he broke into a run, skidding to a stop at Rachel's side. "Merlin's beard," he exclaimed, his eyes going wide as he got an arm around her to support her. He remembered well enough from seeing his mum do this a few times. "You're in labour, and please don't beat me about the head for pointing out the obvious."

"I'm in fucking labor," she agrees, looking down between her legs like maybe the baby's going to fall out. "Water broke. Think contractions are like, five minutes apart, maybe more. Oh my God."

"Bloody hell, only five minutes? Right, we need to get you to the clinic as I imagine you're not keen on giving birth right here," Bill said, shifting into a better position to help her along. "And I'm afraid you're going to have to walk this time, love, I don't think I can carry you all the way there."

"Because I weigh million pounds," she says, with a slightly hysterical laugh. She lets him take her weight as she stands up and takes a few tentative steps.

"Christ, this feels weird. I can't believe I'm giving birth, here. This is so ridiculous. Don't let the baby fall out, okay? We can't let it fall out."

"It's got nothing to do with what you weigh," Bill assured her, and maybe it did, really, but not completely. "It's that I wouldn't be able to get a proper hold on you."

He eased her forward, one step at a time. "It won't fall out, I promise. Keep breathing, slow and steady."

Even now, Rachel can recognize and appreciate a lie to make her feel better.

She tries to let out a long, shaky breath and slowly take another back in. It's sort of working. "Do you think it's safe, doing this here? I mean, do you think it's sterile? Didn't people die of weird, dirty diseases back then?"

"There you go," Bill encouraged. "I think it'll be fine, Rach. People died of those diseases back then because their doctors didn't know shit about what to do for them. We may be set back in terms of technology, but we've still got the same doctors we've always had, don't we, who know all about how to do this right and make it safe for you and the baby."

"You're pretty good at this," she pants, pushing sweaty hair off her face. "You sweet talk all the pregnant girls you rescue?"

"All part of the service," Bill said with a smile, reaching with his free hand to help her get her hair out of her face. "You're doing fine, we'll be there before you know it."

"Oh my god this feels so unnatural," she breathes, leaning against him as they walk. "I get those women in all those movies who scream at their husbands. I kind of want to kick Raylan in the balls right now. And make him shove a bowling ball out his ass."

"I...don't blame you in the slightest for feeling that way," Bill said carefully, in the interest of his own bollocks. "Men have got it pretty sodding easy when it comes to having a baby. That's why women are so bloody amazing, though. Can you imagine what it'd be like if it was the men that gave birth? We'd be complete pansies about the whole thing."

"Good answer," she huffs, fingers gripping his shirt.

"Can you believe this?" she asks with a shaky laugh. "I'm having a goddamn baby. How do feel about being Uncle Bill to this kid, huh?"

Bill couldn't get enough of kids, and that wasn't just because he'd come from a large family. He grinned. "I would be honored," he replied, utterly sincere.

"Well good, because you don't really have much choice," she grunts, pushing along up the path. "Plus, it's a tie with you and Danny over who's the most responsible and functional so we're going to need you to teach this kid how to not be a total shitshow."

"You and Raylan are going to be fine," Bill assured her firmly. "And I promise, I will help as much as you need me to, all right?"

"Thank you," she breathes, stuttering to a stop as another contraction rips through her, only Bill's strong arm keeping her from completely doubling over.

"I'm gonna puke," she mutters, breathing through her nose to try and keep from actually doing it. "Oh my God this hurts."

He kept her upright, letting her take a moment as she worked through the contraction. "Keep breathing," he said gently, rubbing her back. "We're almost there, you can make it."

Jess Givens - dated to April 20th

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